For my enemies

 When I read and studied scripture before becoming a Mrs. Pastor, I always thought that praying for my enemies meant people at war with the United States. Little did I know that the enemy can live so much closer to home. 

Yes, as it turns out sometimes the people that we’re called to minister to are the very ones that qualify as our enemies. I’ve had so many hurtful things said about me, to me, behind my back that if I had a nickel for every time I could probably end world hunger. The worst part is the most hurtful things were said by the people I drew in the closest. Those that I thought were safe ended up tearing me down the most. 

I could get into details but if you’ve experienced this, you don’t need any wound stories and if you dint know what I’m talking about then praise the Lord and May it always be that way. I would like to say that it didn’t hurt but the truth is, I was very much wounded and haven’t felt the desire to be so transparent with people we minister to since. Now see I didn’t say that I’m not transparent with people, I just choose different variety of folks to share those parts of myself with. 

Unfortunately, pain like this can easily cause us to pull away from everyone. The only thing I’ve found that helps me to stay connected when the ugly rears its head is prayer. Reconnecting with the Holy Spirit does amazing things. It’s not always free form prayer, sometimes I pray scripture, others I pray ancient texts, sometimes modern prayers. And occasionally I will just break down and offer the Lord my brokenness. 

I recently read in a book from Matt Mikalatos that the only real cure for a broken heart is more love. And that is so very true when it comes to healing the pain of betrayal. We don’t get better in isolation but in community. And the only way we can make our way back to that is by praying for our enemies until there are no enemies left.